Since he seized power in 1969, Muammer Qaddafi has been a controversial figure. The Late Egyptian leader Jamal Abdul Nasser described him as the heir of Arab nationalism, and I bet the Soul of Nasser regrets it deeply. Saddat, in contrary, saw in Qaddafi a lunatic dreamer and not worthy of any sort of attention, after all, Saddat wanted the spotlight for himself. Reagan called Muammer "the mad dog of Libya", and so on. But all those who tried to describe controversial Qaddafi, failed in comprehending what Qaddafi saw in himself, a GOD ..
On April 9, Pacific Free Press published on its website a letter by Muammer Qaddafi, in which he described as his testament and his voice to the world. He titled it "Recollections of My Life". From the first line, oneself will realize what Qaddafi wants to say. he opened the testament with:
“ For 40 years, or was it longer, I can’t remember, I did all I could to give people houses, hospitals, schools, and when they were hungry, I gave them food, I even made Benghazi into farmland from the desert, ... ”
In this paragraph, he used the pronoun " I ", instead of "we", "our government", "the leadership", and so on. He also used the verb "give", which it refers to "present voluntarily and without expecting compensation", according to "dictionary.com", and not an act of duty. In another word, he saw in the four decades of his rule as a gesture to Libyans. He "gave" them houses, hospitals, and food. He even turned the desert into farmland for their sake. Therefor, in his mind, they must be thankful for him, keep worshiping him, and pray for more of his divine gifts. He also went further to see in those who protested against his rule as ungrateful, and never will be:
“ but that was never enough, as some told me, even people who had ten-room homes, new suits and furniture, were never satisfied, as selfish as they were they wanted more, and they told Americans and other visitors, they needed democracy, and freedom, .. ”
Qaddafi self-claimed divinity fully unfolded in his first speech. He wrathed in religious imagery to make his threats, condemning his opponents to hell and damnation. Qaddafi considers himself to be above the rest of humanity. Referring to himself in the third person (a classic symptom of some psychotic disorders), he reinforced the concept of his being a divine leader, stating that “Qaddafi is the glory”. This self-claimed divinity explains how his behavior afterwards proved that he has no moral boundaries. After all, divine is the moral. It is clear from the full context of his testament that he consider himself as he stated "Beacon of light", or in another word, a leader of the forces of good. As a result, and in a resemblance of any biblical king, his opponents are the force of evil. This played in his mind to justify all the atrocities he committed so far, under his watch, against his own people. Yet, it is understandable, but can not be justifiable.
The way Qaddafi see himself is not just lunatic, it is also pathetic. History must state that people of Libya, for four decades, fell victims to a mentally-ill leader, not just a criminal one. In his mind, he is Zeus .. for Libyans, he is their Nero.
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